Talking to people is difficult. Having my dearly hold beliefs exposed to discussion and criticism is painful. Trying to find a common ground with people with totally different needs, experiences, and ideas about the best way to do software development in a particular context is challenging. But only by doing so, and by being open to changing my own stance, I can hope to influence the stance of other "stakeholders" and thus bring a positive change to a project or organization.
Side note: It's funny that the more I learn about IT the more I realize that the main challenges and solutions we encounter are not about technology, but about the fundamentally human in us. Also the approach advocated here - seeking understanding and respect in spite of disagreement instead of the radically adversarial "we vs. them" thinking - is crucial not just for IT, but also for building a better society. So far it unfortunately seems that politicians - especially in the US but not just there - tend to prefer the wrong approach. And also the willingness to expose one's beliefs to discussion and the openness to change are important not only for talking to people, but for being able to keep developing mentally and spiritually, as put so well by M. Scott Peck in The Road Less Traveled.
I'd like to thank to Markus Krüger for showing me the power of talking to people and to Marshall B. Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life for being so inspirational on this path.
You might enjoy also other posts on effective development.
Are you benefitting from my writing? Consider buying me a coffee or supporting my work via GitHub Sponsors. Thank you! You can also book me for a mentoring / pair-programming session via Codementor or (cheaper) email.